do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
