nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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