JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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