Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
