I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
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No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize