After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
