I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize