First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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