Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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