did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
