u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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