After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize