go do what you do best...puke behind churches
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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