Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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