I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
