420 ftw
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
