Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
