Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
