this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
