You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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