You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We are two peas in an std pod
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
