This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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