yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
