I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
