Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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