He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i out mim tonsoeep
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