we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
