No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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