Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
