so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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