i permit you to call me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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