He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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