this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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