im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
