just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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