i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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