Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
