Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
