hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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