Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
