Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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