You're my little dorito
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
