Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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