Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
