i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
