oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
