so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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