THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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