Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
