He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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