I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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