if you like me you must not know who I am
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
