I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Come on in and take your pants off
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