Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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