i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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