Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize