I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
