if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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